see the cars go by, reminds me of the things i seek, what exactly do i need?
walked down the road and realized that im not the person i used to be, thanks to you i guess
familar streets familiar blocks, where the people i once knew lived
reminds me of what i thought of last night
memories are hard to forget i guess
how i wish ur true hw i wish you could be mine too
i realized i don't know what i'm doing as i thought i am
i realized that we may not be as meant to be as i thought
i realized a solution to the issue that had been disturbing me for weeks
i realized that im just 赌气-inq and my bet its too big too big too important to me
i reaiized how empty i feel and how my pirorities had chanqed friends study money re family relationship
i realized that how i changed may only hurt me more guess it's cause' i got 放感情下去 bah...
i realized that 反事都要靠自己 guess there's really no one i can truely rely on, not even you bah you can't always be there that's so 天真
i dno larh evitinq oso dno bu yao bi woooooo
stress ta the max guess im too stressed le bah
sudenly thought if cutting would feel better than hitting the wall... v pain sia...
wad m i stressed about
School:
maths - by today
ss - heck
ss test - tmr night b4 12
phy test - tonight bah
english weekly hw =.= - tomorrow mornin?
chem -- ?? when do i care
Table Tennis:
should i go jiao lian hse tmr?
go: can take angpow socialize =.= hint i not going on mon know whats happening on mon cake?
don't go: never see jiaolian for very long, won't kena suan for ponin on fri cn do homework
cake bigg arhh x.x i wan eat =/
obviously ish don't qo... okae settt zzz
Relationships:
with? =.=
her - heck care f it not qona care u jus dun understand mi enuf to show dht u care =.=
you - dno dn care weak
her<3>.>
her;D - love you as alwaes love you even more now
him - i mus be thinkin too much about ur pm, i think no matter hw qd e he is, you could b mre important
him? - don't let him wait/ qib him false hope/ lead him on animore nomatter hw qd he is, thats easier than i think bah... are his chance 0?
them - let nature takes its course? i don't wana lose my baobeiflower... but it seems...
went to bai nian today <3
went to Frederick hse his mother cute sia nice sia sae alot of things =D
went to jw hse her mother oso nice sia love her soup =D
reminds mi of peixuan her mother make e noodle soup alot of daogei oso <3
daogei<3
qt e jia de gan juei like homecook food =D
went baq my hse
mahjong -ED <3
daidee -ED <3
rawk siaaa qt lose abit bt hu caress =]
emodiao when my besties left still dno hw 2 emo diao wif u quys arnd <3
guess i realized sth wah siting dhr bahh
strolled to econ end up buy e icecream i din even consider at all guess dhts mi bahh
even more surprised when i asked somebodi 2 col mi bt he din
dhts wad i hate abt zhu-dong-inq alwaes kena reject zzz
but end up he called
cried on the phone dhts when i realized i stressed...
guess i put pressure on dht quy bt stil at least i feel btr
aft 5 10 min put nd put off phone qo eat =.=
ate fin my rice nia + 2 mushroom + drink my soup dhen zao to room
just no mood bah kan stand dhem cept fer my pa
bt stil shu yuan le... blehh
16-2 years of living make me realized that it's best not to show how sad or angry or disappointed or pissed you are.
Even if there are people who says they cares but by showing so you will only make them sad/more sad and trouble them into consoling you or worry them about what to do about you or affect their mood as well.
Most of the time they would rather be doing what they enjoy doing and hope that you would be happier and not trouble them with you sudden mood swing and rather you be there happy and all having fun with them
Hence might as well you smile, crack a joke and give the futile attempt to be happy a try and hopefully really feel happy just to remember what you were thinking about when you're alone in the dark, and everybody had left.
下雨天了怎么办 我好想你 不敢打给你 我找不到原因 - 下雨天
x-- Julia
Labels: realization
Life's Complicated. Nothing's gonna change it...
4:40 AM
J(1+W)=Julia+Jiawen