i can't understand.
loads loads and loads of things about life.
i want to but i can't.
why is it that you don't seem to get what i mean
why is it that you just don't admit it
why is it that you don't understand that u hurt me at times
why is it that i can't speak my mind out
why is it that i feel so distant to you now
why is it that i don't even get to talk to you everyday not even a hi
why is it that it seems so hard to talk to you sometimes
why is it that we can talk so much today
why is it that things changes
why is it that people are so xiao-qi
why can't people just forgive and forget
why is it that ur still the only one that understand me best
why did it turn out this way
sometimes the things i tell you
you seem to understand
but the next min
you turn and repeat the thing that i dun wish that you would do
it's obvious now
you need that person more than you need me
sometimes i think i dun even need to appear
many things untold
many things unknown
i feel unimportant though u told me before about my importance.
that person seems to have already taken that place of yours
think,ask and search your heart
do not lie.
[You can look into my eyes and pretend all you want, but I know, I know]
i try not to write 'forever'
because i'm not sure how long we can go
i'm afraid that everthing will repeated
the faith and feeling that i've put in will be thrown back to me in the end
like i'm a fool.
sometimes the words that you say
i know you might not mean it
but do you think about it?
sometimes it does hurt
it leaves a scar
but still i smile at you
pretending there's nothing
but actually it hurts.a lot.
A smile is the best way to deal with difficult situations. Even if it's a fake one. Used properly, it can be used to fool anyone.
this guy's pm.so real so true. i guess i'm quite a pro at this?
sometimes during recess
i look at you away from me
and i think about the days back then
i didn't understand then
that seeing you could be such a wonderful thing
though i may seem happy
but deep down i'm staring at you and thinking why is it that everything have changed
i used to see you everyday
going home with you was fun too
being nagged by you for eating unhealthy food
being forced to eat healthy food
being critised for my lousy sense of clothes
things that you taught me when we shopped
celebrating our birthdays together
everything that we used to do together
it seemed so distant...
i understand that nobody can live in the past forever
everyone has to move on
but sometimes
i pray and hope that time can be turned back and frozen
cause i want so much to just have you by my side again
holding the good times that we shared together close to my heart.
i met you at the station today
and we talked so much
even i was surprised
we talked about our pri sch days present days and future.
haha it was fun though some moments of akwardness?is it spelt like this?
if give a choice i think i would preferred those days actually
even though many things were worse than what i had now
but in overall it was better
i need not think about my actions
need not think about relationships between people
need not care about studies
need not care about future
need not care about anything,anyone.not even yourself.
our talk made me remember this
and how much we've changed
we 3 used to be together
but look at now
it's almost impossible to find us 3 together.
or should i just say it is impossible...
why are some people so ji jiao?
some things just let it go...
better for everyone.
less troubles less worries.
i mean yea we're in the wrong
but i'm sure that even if you had the chance you would take it too
dun act guai.
this is human instinct.
no one is right or wrong
even if there is
i believe everone has a part to play
because i believe that it takes to hands to clap
you need 2 different opinions to have an argument
which is yours and ours.
we have differnt logics and ways of thinkings
but obviously we are smarter and have better logic.
the things that you told me the other day
i still think about it
i want to know if i am in the wrong
or is it because i am really taken for granted easily
but there's nobody to tell me
i want to change if i;m in the wrong so somebody please tell me
but if i'm like what you said being taken for granted...
cause i have a good temper...
wo bu zhi dao~
but dun like the feeling of being taken for granted
unneeded and unimportant
as though i can just disappear and you won't notice.
hmmmmmmm.
i realised you are the only one
though we are not as close as before
there are still many things that i can confide in you
many things that i couldn't tell many others...
my dear friend i hope you will always be my friend;D
i don't believe the things that they are telling me
and there's no need to.
friendship.that's all.
i shall stop thinking about these kind of things
i am going to be old in a few days-.-
think too much will have more wrinkles...
and kill more brain cells.
i will need a lot brain cells this year
better keep them all for something more useful.
i think nobody cares why i'm writing all this shit but paiseh i need somewhre to fa xie also.
why am i crying while writing this?
freak.i am not weak.i shall not cry.stop this.
[it's time to say goodbye...]
-jiawen
Life's Complicated. Nothing's gonna change it...
5:44 AM
J(1+W)=Julia+Jiawen